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Archive for June, 2011

First time cooking steak

June 15th, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I love steak, but eating out is expensive. "I know! Why not learn to cook it at home?" So begins another chapter of comedy/tragedy in my autobiography.

But why not, right? There is a dearth of quality YouTube videos showing just how easy and fun it is to cook your very own restaurant quality steak at home. For that matter, my very own first attempt was a delightful cornucopia of learning experiences. For example:

* There is apparently a difference between "hot enough" and "too hot", and as a constructive feedback, perhaps YouTube celebrity chefs should take some time to explain the difference.

* I believe I have figured out what "too hot" looks like. It is when dark smoke that resembles a miniature forest fire rises from your pan and quickly engulfs the entire kitchen.

* I have also-- to my long term benefit I'm sure-- figured out exactly where my smoke alarm is, and that the back-up battery does not need replacing at this time.

* Flies apparently also love steak, and when you open your windows to vent your kitchen forest fire, they will quickly swarm in to judge your culinary efforts. At least they seem to approve, though not without some reluctance and trepidation.

* Celebrity chefs on YouTube will not mention this, but I think it is also handy to note that setting off grease fires should not be attempted while wearing your Sunday's best. I also see now the merit of "Kiss the Chef" aprons.

* Last but not least, it seems that no amount of salt can cover the taste of charred meat, and perhaps it is best cut it off with a steak knife that I do not have and will have to get some time in the near future because butter knives don't work very well.

Oh yes! There will be a re-match in the not-too-distant future. I may stumble and I may fall, but I will not surrender so easily. As the Spartan women would say to their men, "Come back with the steak on your plate, or come back with your plate and on the ambulance stretcher." This isn't over yet.

In the meantime, enjoy a shot of the carnage.