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Archive for May, 2016

Helping the old man.

May 4th, 2016 at 01:08 am

For the first time in many years, I took off work early to help my parents set up their retirement nest eggs. This event is highly peculiar, if not shocking, because my dad is typically a proud, self-made man. In fact, I can't even recall when was the last time he ever asked ME for help with anything. And yet, this time, he did.

Ok, but in order to do so, I politely pushed and explained to them that I would need to know their full financial picture. You see, up until this week, their financial picture has always been an enigma wrapped in a mystery. I knew they were doing OK, but they never really talked about it... at all... merely pushing such values as hard work and financial modesty.

While I do cherish those values as well, I have also warned them repeatedly that it takes quite a bit more money than most typically realizes to retire safely. In fact, I've personally spent years ruminating how I would go about affording them a decent nursing home or if I need to move in with them some day to help out with some of the assisted living stuff.

So, I guess now comes the next shocker. Turns out my parents are millionaires. Not like super duper millionaires or anything, but somewhere between 1 and 2 mil. Ok then! I guess I can now breathe a sigh of relief.

Well, I mean things can still go wrong at this point, so I guess this is where I come in. They asked me to take a look at their portfolio and asked me if any changes were needed... and changes were needed indeed! Their portfolio read more like an individual with an over-active case of bi-polar disorder.

For example, who in the world has $250k+ in a checking account for no good reason? I mean it's barely even making any interest at all. On the other end, they have an unhealthily over-weighted positions in physical real estate that will need to be sorted out as well. Also, they are resistant to change. "What is a bond fund? Why can't I just put all my money into this annuity that this nice company lady said I can do?" Insert facepalm here.

In any case, they were so thankful for some reason that they treated me to a steak dinner...which was pretty darn delicious I must admit. Still though, I think the biggest compliment was that they actually trusted me enough to have me help them plan for their future. I had a really nice day.