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I need to talk about pooping....

March 26th, 2017 at 05:15 pm

Well, first of all, my new cot sheets arrived, and I washed them and fitted them to my new car bed. I bought new sheets, partly because I don't have any sheets that technically fits a cot mattress, and partly because I don't have any sheets that are black anyway. To celebrate the completion of the bed, I am going to attempt to sleep in it tonight. Hopefully, all will go well. Wish me luck.

With priority #1 mostly nailed down, let's talk about priority #2, which is an emergency toilet system.

Some RVers and vandwellers have a much more permanent bathroom setup for regular use, but me, I just don't have enough space. It's OK though, because it was never my plan to begin with to poop or pee in the car... if I can at all help it. Instead, my plan is to use public restrooms anywhere I can. Remember, unlike my fellow mobile compatriots, my primary goal is to save money, not necessarily be out in the remote regions of the wilderness in search of adventure, or to escape the so-called machinations of society.

Nevertheless, there may come a time (or three) where I may not have any choice at all, and will need a way to conduct #1 and #2, right in the car. Right. So, now, my focus has turned towards the construction of some kind of emergency toilet system.

As a guy, #1 is actually pretty simple. I can pee into a specially designated water bottle and call it a day. Hardly glamorous, but it will work.

However, for #2, that is going to require a bit more planning and construction. Most cardwellers actually put their "bathroom" on the driver's side rear seat. However, because of my car's hybrid setup, and because my car is especially small, this simply will not work for me. I've tried, and it's a no-go.

That leaves the only other viable space left, which is the front passenger area. Basically, it's what's left of the space between the bed and the glove box. The space is still incomprehensibly small, but after some testing using myself sitting on my future toilet bucket... well, this is literally the only space that will work. Also, there is only one way to sit comfortably enough-- side ways, facing towards the steering wheel-- that will allow me to do my business, hopefully not make any mess, while I continue mull over my existential crisis, questioning what on this blessed Earth am I doing with my life, sitting sideways, jammed inside a car, trying to take a dump?

For visual aid, I've included a photo to show how much space I am working with at this point. It actually looks bigger than it really is due to me having to jam through the edge of the bed on one end, and the edge above the glove box on the other. Oh and the floor is also uneven, so I will need to figure something out, while also keeping the bucket strapped down somehow.



Alright, let me go get my bed ready for the night. Wish me luck. I think I'm going to need it haha.

6 Responses to “I need to talk about pooping....”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    Sleep well!

  2. VS_ozgirl Says:

    Good luck!

  3. snafu Says:

    I suggest this issue is better managed by where you elect to park at nightfall and weekends/off work hours. Experienced RVers are familiar with their body's habits and workout what facilities are available on their route. What public facilities does your municipality offer? What 24 hr. service stations have public facilities? 24 hr. restaurants, grocery chains? We've several 24 hr 'truck stops,' who allow rigs to park and sleep on site. They have shower stalls for drivers, truck wash for rigs and food service with take-out, 24/7.

    Have you considered taking a second, part time job to increase earnings and take up time so that you're not squished in your car off hours?

  4. LuckyRobin Says:

    I don't have any advice to offer, but you get 100 points for that no-go pun.

  5. Tabs Says:

    Snafu, there you are. I was wondering when you'd chime in. And yes, I completely agree that there is a very definite series of options to consider in terms of parking, which I think will make wonderful entries later on. However, you are kind of hitting on it already, which is relying on a lot of 24 hour places that also have public bathrooms.... But yeah, let's talk about all that some more when we get there.

    Thanks LR. I should rename my car to Farfrompoopin' or something haha. Ok ok I won't give up my day job just yet. It's a tough world trying to be a commodian.

  6. Tabs Says:

    Oh, forgot to respond to the job comment. Always up for a job that fits this new lifestyle. Although the design approach is to make it as though I intend to stay in this car 24/7, the real plan is to not be in it for as much as is possible-- especially when it is really hot or cold-- and to use public places as much as possible instead. Getting paid on top of that would just be super.

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