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Judging me

March 21st, 2026 at 04:46 am

If there's one thing I've learned about life in general, it is that there is no shortage of people who are willing to telling me what I should or should not be doing with my life.  Most of the time, it's unsolicited advice coming from the same people who also happens to love telling everybody else not to tell them what to do.  I always wonder if they are aware of their own irony in this?  The typical conversation is usually along the lines of:

Them: What you been up to these days?
Me: Not much, I'm retired now.
Them: Oh?  So early.  Why?
Me: I just want to live my life now, and on my own time.
Them: But you have so much time and energy still to do something, instead of just lying around doing nothing or being lazy, you should apply yourself more.  Do this or that, or get back to work again.

Normally, I just kind of laugh, agree that they are not entirely wrong, and change the subject.  However, if pressed, I do try to explain that I'm not unhappy with my life choices either.  Plus, it would eventually have to creep into some financial questions that I am actively trying to avoid discussing with them: How in the world am I able to retire in the first place?  Law enforcement, as anyone can attest, does not pay that well, and cops are not exactly the most financially-minded people in the world.

Now, to be clear, I have always kept my nose clean, OK?  I didn't become financially independent by being on the take.  In fact, on a few rare occasions, I've even had to yell at people that tried to bribe me that I can not be bought!  But I digress....

While I am not filthy rich by any means, but after saving, investing, and sacrificing for two decades, I was finally able to realize my life long dream of "buying" my own life and my own time back.  I did it the old fashioned way, it just took a while.

And yeah, such a pursuit doesn't look like anything at all is happening from the outside.  That's just the nature of saving and investing, right?  It's not like people are going to get excited or even see the money you chose not to spend.

Now, I don't know if saving and investing comes easily or naturally for you dear readers, but for me, trying to stay on the financial track is a daily struggle!  Some days, it's a very difficult stuggle!  I mean, if I wanted to book a hotel or cruise or whatever, I can literally do that right now.  Or order something crazy over Amazon, and have it delivered to me within 2 days.  No problem.  Why?  Because there is literally nobody here to stop me.  Little ole me is my own one and only safeguard... and sometimes, I make me nervous haha.  Like foxes guarding the hen house kind of situation or something.

With all that said, I can't disagree that I do have spare time and energy to focus into something more worthwhile.  I just haven't figured out what, if anything, yet.  Hmm.  What about you?  If you had more spare time and energy to do something, what would you with it?

8 Responses to “Judging me”

  1. mumof2 Says:
    1774079774

    the point is you can do what you want when you want with who you want (I mean friend wise) you did well retired with enough income and can live like on your terms...who says you have to do anything with your time...just live your life seriously if anyone called me lazy it wouldnt be a nice conversation for them...take the time to figure out what if anything you want to do...and then do it...or not...your choice

  2. patientsaver Says:
    1774096521

    Well, like you, I'm retired. I like to have a good balance of busy-ness and downtime. So you probably already know I volunteer and much of what I do as a volunteer is similar to what I did for work: writing press releases, doing social media, writing website copy and so on. It's what I enjoy doing. But along the way I do have opportunities to stretch my usual boundaries a little. So now I'm maintaining the website for my knotweed group, something I knew little about but just taught myself through trial and error, and hey, I enjoy that too. There are a few other groups I'm peripherally associated with in that I help out from time to time but am not an actual member. They know me, and I know them. Like the pollinator group.

    At the same time, I look forward to days when I have little to no commitments, complete unstructured time to do as I want. I can't say I'm incredibly productive on those days, though sometimes I am. It all just depends.

  3. Tabs Says:
    1774098454

    mumof2: Yeah, that is exactly the point. It's not so much that I have given up on doing anything, it's just that I now have a choice, of exactly what, where, and when.... Assuming no catastrophe strikes me or the stock market of course. This retirement thing is still new to me, so I am still trying to figure things out.

    patientsaver: I like that you keep yourself busy with things that are meaningful. Hmm, that's not a bad idea. I should consider that as well. Thanks for the suggestion haha.

  4. rob62521 Says:
    1774127001

    Tabs, I've had people tell me the same thing. I retired early since I could, but it was with lots of planning beforehand. And the funny thing, is some of the people who told me I should have kept working were retired themselves and had just finished their stories of all the things they were enjoying. Sometimes it's better to take these folks and their advice with a grain of salt...they are probably either not happy with their situation and jealous of yours, or don't know what else to say so they want to act superior. Good riddance!

  5. Lots of ideas Says:
    1774134381

    I’m giving you unsolicited advice. 😀
    When people ask me what I’m doing now, I try to tell them something that I am doing as that gives us a place to start a conversation. Even when we are ‘doing nothing’ we are not literally doing nothing.
    My other stock answer is ‘I have no idea what I do all day but it takes me all day to do it.’
    That opens up the discussion to the joy of retirement.

  6. Tabs Says:
    1774153448

    rob: Yeah, I definitely take these people with large grains of salt. At the end of the day, I'm the only one that has to live my life, just as I can not live anyone else's. So, we all have to make choices that we can live with, and I do not regret my decisions so far.

    LOI: While technically unsolicited, I do appreciate it very much. There is definitely value in open-ended and amusing responses to invite further discussion all the while providing some of diversion from the more personal topics that I don't want to talk about.

  7. Dido Says:
    1774185830

    "If you had more spare time and energy to do something, what would you with it?" Well, first I'd declutter my house, then I'd get two kitties (I'm hoping to do both this year in any case), then I'd spend considerably more time working out (not a huge amount of time but maybe 5 hours a week rather than the current bare minimum of about 2-3 hours a week). I'd get in shape for hiking and go on some local hikes. I'd spend a lot more time reading than I currently do. And I'd write and I'd probably get involved in some local community groups, and I'd start playing my flute again and join one of the community orchestras. I'd volunteer for the local historical society in some capacity.

    I've been reading books about retirement as I prepare to make that transition a few years from now (2029 plus or minus one) and one of the key pieces of advice I've read is that the most important predictors of well-being in retirement are having social connections and having a sense of purpose.

  8. Tabs Says:
    1774198464

    Dido, those are wonderful answers, especially with kitties and social connections. I have to say my level of social interaction has gone way, way down post retirement…. No co-workers to gossip with and about, and since I’m just a single guy at home, especially with no pets, well, I’m literally sitting at my laptop in near silence as I type this. And now, being aware of this, it’s making me think I should get up and go outside for a bit haha.

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