I was not born in America, but have lived here for nearly all of my life.  I have always figured I would travel back to my native country some day, you know, just to visit my birth place, and see if I should even expat there some day due to the much lower cost of living.

Unsurprisingly, between work, marriage, divorce, kids, and the overall cost of traveling internationally, I just never really gotten around to it.

However, because I currently can't legally drive, and am between jobs, it kind of opened up a rare window of opportunity to actually travel.  This is the first time I was able to do so in 30 years, and chances are good, it would also be my last.

Needless to say, I took lots of photos.  Shocking even myself, more than 5000 of them if you can believe that!  But you know, it's better to take too many than too little I think, and don't worry, I'm not going to post all of them haha.  That would be so insane.

Bonus question: Is it my imagination, or is the SA blogs really slow?  If so, has it been like this for a while, or is this something new?  And what's causing it?

I’ve been debating if I even want to share this.  It’s kind of annoying and kind of embarrassing.  However, with ample spare time right now, I guess it has put me more in the mood to gripe about my life.  It’s also kind of a long story, but I will do my best to try to keep it short.

This tragic tale of misadventure started all the way back in early 2020, when I got into a car accident.  At the time, I was working out, taking a quick nap, then working out some more at a martial arts school, then quick shower and meal, then rushing into work.

Now, I am not a fitness buff.  My cave brain just somehow thought I could replicate the same type of workout schedule that I followed when I was in my 20’s.  It also did not help that my work was short-staffed, and as an essential employee who often had to stay over, especially after Covid shutdown, I was often times staying over for 12 hours or more.  What all this added up to was a very tired guy who dozed off quite a bit as he drove home.

Now, like any other smooth-brained men out there, I was also no stranger to driving home tired.  So, it did not occur to me that this was a problem at the time.  All I had to do was to get home in one piece, take a quick shower, and I can head right to bed.  At least, I thought that until one day, I accidentally dozed off one too many times and ended up slamming into a neighbor’s parked car.

The good news is nobody was hurt except for bumping my head I guess.  In fact, I was the only one there at the accident.  While the vehicle wasn’t totaled either, the insurance company decided to write it off completely, because I was driving a Prius at the time.  It turns out that hybrid engines are actually quite expensive to repair and require specialists.  And with the looming Covid shutdown, they decided the easiest thing to do was just write both vehicles off.  Ok.

That same year, DMV caught wind of it, and decided that I needed to submit a full medical report to make sure I wasn’t on drugs or was intoxicated.  They must have read the report stating that both vehicles were totaled, so it must have been severe.  Hence the likely over-reaction.  No problem though.  Except for caffeine, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do anything interesting as far as I know.  For heaven sake, I drove a Prius.

Unfortunately, while the medical check-up came up empty on those fronts, it did also reveal that I went from pre-diabetic to full-blown type 2 diabetic.  While this was news to me, DMV decided that that must be the cause of the car accident, and from then on, it turned into an entire rigamarole where I had to constantly submit medical reports to make sure I was still somehow fit to drive.

A quick tangent if you will.  Apparently diabetes come in two forms, hypoglycemic and hyperglycemic.  The former is the one that would cause one to faint behind the wheel, with the blood sugar being too low.  However, I am and have always been the latter. It’s still not a good thing, but the point here is, sheer male stupidity aside, my form of diabetes would not cause me to faint behind the wheel.

Fast forward some more to 2023, it all went well for a while, and I even had my diabetes under control.  Unfortunately, when both of my medication and medical check-ups lapsed when I changed insurance and doctors, that’s when my real nightmare with doctors and the DMV started to really flare up.  I had to find a new doctor that would take my new insurance, which would then take months to set up an appointment.  My diabetes also went out of control during this time.  So, this new doctor told me to set up appointments with four other new doctors for a full medical checkup, and each of them required separate appoints that also took months to setup.  It was insane!

Through this ordeal, my driver's license had finally lapsed, and I was no longer able to legally drive.  However, I did finally find a doctor that understood the difference between hypoglycemic and hyperglycemic, and that it would not cause me to faint while driving.  In fact, he was the one who voluntarily told me that, without me asking about it, and gladly signed me off to be able to drive again.

Alas, the DMV remains unconvinced.  They sent back a reply stating they want that doctor and I to participate in some kind of “hearing” whatever that means, to prove my fitness to drive.  After filling out said hearing request, the DMV has been silent for nearly a month now, with no hint whatsoever as to when or even IF they will ever get back to me, and if so, in what ways.

Until then, I am mostly stuck at home.  While I am a bit of a homebody to begin with, the walls can still feel like it will close in on me sometimes, in what feels like another round of personal Covid lockdown. Now that the weather is starting to cool, I will try to go out and jog or something, but other than that, it’s just an uncomfortable feeling being stuck at home the whole time.

So that's where I am right now, and why I suddenly have so much time on my hands.  However, I would like to end this on a more upbeat note, and it would be the fact that, because I have been SOMEWHAT financially responsible, I do kind of have enough passive income to float on by without having to actively work due to my current inability to drive.

I’ve often fantasized about retiring early.  I just never thought I would be forced into trying it out right now through this mandatory staycation.

Stumbled across this tweet.  The scary part is I don't think this is uncommon.  In fact, I think the vast majority of Americans are in the same boat.

When I thought about what her options are, I immediately thought, "She needs to find a rich, gullible man."  which as a guy, I hate having thought that.  Most men don't have that kind of luxury and have to work for our own money.  To be fair, I imagine most women would prefer having their own money as well.

In desperate times though, and with limited options, what do you think?  Should she try to find and marry a rich, gullible guy?

My dad ran into a scam on his computer, where it showed an ad that said his computer has been infected by malware, and to immediately contact Windows tech support to get it removed.  The ad was even blaring a loud alarm audio, and included a phone number to call for said "tech support".

My parents are not exactly computer-savvy, so they immediately called me to come take a look at it, and I told them that it was a scam, and showed them how to restore the computer.

The scary part is, my dad actually called the phone number.  Luckily, he was confused and hung up before he handed over any bank or credit card information, and instead opted for me to arrive and fix it for him.

In April earlier this year, there was a massive data breach with some criminal background data base company, and nearly 3 BILLION records, including social security numbers were leaked over the darknet.  If you are American, chances are good you might have already been compromised.

Quick and dirty solution: Keep a hawk eye on your credit history.  Ask the credit scoring companies to "freeze" your account to prevent anyone, including yourself, from opening any new loans or credit cards.  Lock or freeze any credit cards that you don't use.

But yeah, please be careful out there.  My dad dodged a bullet.

Ok, I just want to gripe real quick about the membership wholesale warehouse retail box store place thingie that is BJ's.

Whenever I go there, which isn't frequent, but when I do, it always shows at the check-out that my membership expires on the end of September.

However, the linked membership card / credit card shows that the annual renewal fee is at the beginning of September.

Wait, let me make sure I have this straight: The membership renewal portion is due on the end of September.   The annual fee portion for the credit card is due on the beginning of September.  I think.

The whole thing is just confusing enough that I even had to re-type some of the sentences above.  And that's what I find annoying here.  I just don't go to BJ's enough to have to worry about all this.  I'm going to cancel soon, even though it costed me $55 in renewal fee... but is that for the credit card, the warehouse membership, or both???

I haven't been around due to personal life reasons... well, if I am being completely honest, it's mostly because I am lazy haha.  However, SavingAdvice has always been my online financial home if you will, and now that my personal life has changed some more, I seem to have a bit more free time to "come home" more often so to speak.  I hope everyone who is still here is doing well.

Also, I'd like to pick the community's mind with a question: I have a friend who is going through divorce right now, and his ex-wife is fighting him every step of the way.  To defend himself, he has already paid more than $20k USD in legal fees, using bank and personal loans.  Not only that, but he owes them an additional $5k more, and he doesn't know where to raise that money from!  Is this how much divorce lawyers cost these days?  It's utterly insane!

In a desperate move, he has hit up anyone he knows, including me, explaining his predicament and wondering if there is anyone who can help him financially.  He is a good man, but like most people I know around me, financial savvy is not one of their personal strengths....

Now, in real life, nobody knows that I am a millionaire.  Actually, I'm not even sure if my parents know.  If I am being completely honest, I am scared to tell anyone.  I've struggled for so long, saving and investing, just to make it to this point.  Also, it's like a Pandora's box, you know?  Once it's open, you can't close that thing again.  Besides, it's not like being barely a millionaire counts for all that much these days.

Still, technically, I COULD help my friend here, BUT I also have a hard and fast rule, which is that I never donate or gift money to anyone who solicits me.  To be clear, I DO donate to charity, but ONLY anonymously, and ONLY to people who is not soliciting me.  Last time was earlier this year, where I donated to someone who has advanced stage pancreatic cancer, but she still has young kids to raise.  They don't know who I am, and they never will.

Plus, $5k would still be a massive dent to my emergency fund, AND there is no telling how much more his lawyers would charge up if they think my friend can somehow raise even more money.

My question though, is should I give him any money at all, and if so, how much?  Am I being a jerk here for not helping him more?  I've helped pay for little things here and there, but nothing really substantial so far.  What do you think?