Because I'm still too young (haha) for receiving Social Security, I just haven't really looked into it in detail.  However, just for fun, I decided to go check out SSA's website and see what my eligibility looks like.

While at the website, I noticed there was a tiny little text link that revealed my entire life's annual income!  Wow, I didn't know that was available.  Why is the link so small?  That's a big deal to me!

Looking back at my life, in terms of annual income, really brought back a wave of memories, and even gave me an insight about what kind of person I am....  For one thing, I never did earn a whole lot of money.  Although insurance and retirement benefits are generally pretty good for law enforcement, it really is not a profession of choice for those seeking a high income.

Another thing is how seemingly unhappy and restless I appear to have been.  It brought me back memories of how I jumped from city cop to the Sheriff's office to working for the Feds, and all the while remembering how I was always constantly searching... for what though?  Where I really belonged, where I wanted to be, what I really wanted to do when I grow up?   I don't know exactly what it is I was looking for, only I never really found it.  That's why I kept jumping around, kept trying to climb that career ladder.

Contrast that with my fellow "idiot camping buddy" for example, who just stayed where he is, and ended up being a fairly happy police lieutenant.  To be clear, I am also very happy for him.

But me?  Yeah, I just eventually got up and retired.  Otherwise, I feel like I would just be struggling through my fourth police academy, at an advanced age, just to start all over again at the bottom of the rung that, if history should most likely repeat itself, would leave me disillusioned somehow again.

If I am being entirely honest, I don't know what is wrong with me.  Why can't I be like my friends and just stay still at a job?  Why was I so unhappy and restless?  What is it exactly that I am looking for?  A man's career is kind of a big deal for us, but somehow I can't help but feel all I've done is make a mess throughout my life.  Sigh.

I would say about the one big thing I've done right with my life is that I learned to save and invest money.  It gives me some peace of mind while I moved chaotically from one job to another, and is even allowing me to retire early, which is somehow making me happier than I've ever been.  I still don't know what it is I am looking for, if anything, but life could be much worse and I am happy that it is not.

Right now, I'm trying to solve a technical problem.  Every time I turn my room fan off and on, my internet momentarily goes out.  Yes, you read that right.  Please feel free to read that again if you wish, I can wait.

Insane, right?  I feel like the Christmas light guy in the parody, 12 Pains of Christmas.  "One light goes out, they all go out!"  Haha, what a funny song.  Anyway, it's starting to kind of drive me batty, and it's making me painfully aware of just how often I turn my fan off and on throughout the day.  This issue has gotten so bad that I am finding myself just leaving the fan on through the day and night, and sometimes even falling asleep without realizing that the fan was still on the whole time.

I did a quick survey of my room's power draw, and it's very well below the wattage limit.  In fact, my killowatt barely registers above 200 watts on average, unless I turn on my PC, but even then, it's not even close to half the limit, nor does turning my PC off and on cause any issues.

Perhaps the issue is with the fan itself?  OMG, as I was blogging this and testing everything along the way, I finally figured out what the problem was!  It wasn't the fan, but the extension cord that I plugged it in, that was apparently the issue?  Why is that, I have no idea.  I'm just glad that the mystery is finally solved, and jinkies, it was Mr. extension cord all along?!

Edit: Well poop.  I just turned on the fan and the outage happened again.  Looks like the mystery continues, gang.  

My toilet lid finally broke today, and it took me the entire afternoon fixing it.  The thing has been wobblying for a while, and I knew it was the hinge that was giving out, not a loose screw or anything.  Otherwise, that would have been an easy fix.

Replacing toilet lids isn't a difficult task or anything, but I kept fumbling my way throughout the process.  For starters, I thought my toilet was regular sized, so I bought a regular sized lid.  However, it turns out that it's actually elongated, so I had to drive back to the store.  Halfway driving back, I realized I left my recipt at home, so I had to drive home again, get the receipt, and drive back to the store again for the right size.

Not that it might be of use to anyone else, but when it comes to toilet lids, please don't buy Bemis (that the previous owner had installed).   Although it is only my personal and limited experience here, but Bemis lids require a ratchet wrench and the right sized hex nut to do the job correctly.  Because I don't have such a wrench, unscrewing it with a crescent wrench was such a pain in the butt.  And that's assuming the hinge is durable enough in the first place.  Instead, I replaced it with a Kohler, which only requires a philips screwdriver at most, and I didn't even use that for the install!

(edit: Just realized that the Kohler lid squeaks a lot!  I hope I can get used to this, or somehow this goes away.  Kohler is what's recommended online too.)

Shifting gears, earlier this morning, I also received a much more helpful email about my 990-T situation, which is unfortunately still unresolved.  I already learned earlier that having an MLP in my Roth is going to incur penalties, so I got rid of the position.  Unfortunately, I didn't know exactly what and how much, but now I know.  The new email reveals that I owe the IRS almost $17k in Unrelated Business Taxable Income (UBTI).  Ok, wow, that's such a big "good" problem.  My investments did well at least, to have incurred such a bill in the first place, but that is seriously going to drain out my emergency fund money.  So yeah, I will need to get this paid in the near future.  Talk about an expensive lesson, no more MLPs for me!

I'm no chef, but I am still trying to improve my home cooking.  The cost benefits are obvious, and I get to make the food exactly how I want it.

Lately, I've learned something really important about my personal tastes: I like worchesthire sauce!  I can't pronouce the word, and I don't even know if I spelled it correctly here, but it's surprising how much it has grown on me!  So, obviously I like meat, but it often times makes the dish a bit too oily for my taste.  I have also learned that simply reducing the oil isn't the right answer either, as I somehow also like it somewhat oily?

It took me a really long time to learn that the issue isn't actually the oil per se, but the need to balance it out with acidity.  This is where I see a lot of people adding stuff like either tomatos, tomato paste, or even a can of tomato soup?  Anyway, this last time, when I tried the Mississippi variant of the pot roast, it finally sunk in that the pepperocini's acidity was what was balancing out the meat's oilyness.

But pepperocini is also expensive for what it is, and it seems awfully wasteful.  Oh, and I think it's a bit too powerful for me?  I don't know.  That's when I turned to AI for help.

A quick word about AI: I typically use ChatGPT locally, because I don't feel like paying anyone a monthly subscription.  Plus, basic cooking advice and recipes are typically not beyond the capabilites of a home AI, so I don't mind turning to it for this.

Thing is though, the recipe it comes up with for even the most basic of inquiries (crockpot pot roast) can result in an exhaustive list of nearly a dozen different spices and ingredients.  I'm not a chef, nor am I trying to open a restaurant, so it just seems like overkill.

Throughout this process though, and with some AI guidance to dumb down the recipe even more, I then discovered the worcheshire sauce.  I never used it before because it just seemed so unnecessary and too fancy pancy for my own cooking.  However, it turned out not only tasting better, but it was cheaper in many ways than other tomato-based ingredients (except tomato paste maybe).  I do like tomatoes, just not in this specific dish, and worcheshire tastes better to me, and is also cheaper to boot.

I also like to add cabbage to my roast, and I am still experimenting with what will work best here.  For right now, I think a jar of gravy works well enough for me, and it's actually not much more expensive than a powdered sauce packet and beef broth combined, that similar recipes call for.  It's also easier to work with.

I think I end up making more like a stew than a roast?  I don't know, I'm still learning, and suggestions are welcome.  Mostly, I'm just trying to keep the cost of ingredients down, as well as minimize the amount of time it takes to prep and cook things.

Upon retirement, one of the things I've noticed is just how much I used to rely on my job as a crutch to help distract me from a lot of uncomfortable thoughts from entering my mind.  Thoughts like, "Hey, what am I going to do with all my junk that I've accumulated when I die?  Who is going to clear through all this, my kids?  Do they even want it, or better yet, maybe I should start cleaning all this stuff early?" or "Hey, do I still want to move overseas, where things are much cheaper?"  I'm still on the fence on that one.  For now, I remain in the US because my parents and my kids are here, but if I really do intend to expat some day, I should do so as soon as possible....

To take it a step further, I used to value durable goods, like a tool set.  Well, I still do, as they do come in handy for minor repairs and DIY projects.  Plus, these things last a lifetime.  But the point here is, somebody will likely have to go through all of this when I croak some day.  So, I shouldn't accumulate too much stuff in general, regardless of what it is.  

Plus, as punishing as that camping trip was for me, I am starting to look back at it as a positive experience where I got a chance to hang out with one of my buddies who is otherwise still quite busy and distracted by his family life and career.  Now, things like maybe a cruise, a trip to Yellowstone national park, or even Vegas-- basically experiences in general over accumulation of stuff-- seems much more appealing as bucket list ideas, because they are also not stuff that my friends and family would have to sift through some day....

Switching to a more palatable subject for this fine Friday, I made something called Mississippi Pot Roast in the crockpot that should be ready in say another hour?  I've tried making this in the past before, but without satisfactory results.  I think the reason why is I like adding onions, mushrooms, and even cabbage to everything, which the original recipe doesn't call for.  And while that may be fine in general, but I've also learned that whenever I veer off from any recipe, my cooking has a lovely tendency to derail in spectacular fashion haha.  Well, that and I don't normally make mississippi pot roast.  Like, why spend the extra money for exotic ingredients like pepperocini when a regular pot roast will do just fine, right?  Anyway, I am hoping this latest attempt will turn out well.  Will find out in about an hour!

Hey, the blogs are back!  For days, I could only see the front page, but not read individual entries.  Anyway, now, it seems to be working again, and better than ever before.

I finally recovered from all the aches and soreness of the camping trip.  Prepping for the trip still costed me more than I had anticipated or wanted to pay for such a trip.  Why is it so easy to go over-budget on any excursions?  Haha.

The month of May was just a huge banner month on the stock market, but it was AI companies that was pulling most of the weight.  Not that I mind, because after all, we all get to bask in the warmth of higher gains.  Still though, I also know that irrational exuberance on the stock market does not equal to a healthy economy.  So, I'm still bracing for a nasty correction of sorts.  Last Friday was already kind of ugly with a 3% drop on a single day.  We'll find out soon if this just a fluke, or a harbinger of something more ominous on the horizon....

In other news, I've been delighted to find a grocery store selling savoy cabbage again.  Sadly, this is one of those fancy stores where everything costs more, but even savoy cabbages are not so expensive that I can't afford them.  However, I admit regular cabbages work just fine for me, though I do get kind of tired of them eventually.  So, it's nice to have alternatives to switch around to, such as the savoy and napa.

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering why I talk about cabbages so much, it's because I am diabetic, so I have to cut out all the major sources of carbs, such as pasta, rice, and potatos.  I've been using cabbages as a replacement for pasta in most of my meals, so they are kind of a big deal to me these days.