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Solicitations

April 24th, 2026 at 04:24 pm

One of the main reasons why nobody in real life knows I have money is because I am well-aware of how people can start to look at you like an ATM machine if I am not careful.  Often times, the people around me don't mean to do that on purpose.  It's just that everybody gets into a financial pinch once in a while, so out of desperation, they start to ask everyone they know for money, especially with those who seem to have some.

That and I don't actually think I'm rich anyway.  To them, they might think so, even though I really am not, but I digress.

Yesterday, the most unexpected of all people asked me for money: A female acquaintance or friend of mine's boyfriend asked me for money.  He must be really desperate to turn to me, because normally, he is a self-reliant man who is proud of being able to take care of everything on his own.  Not only that, but because of my uh friendship with his girlfriend, he kind of sort of doesn't entirely trust me around her.  Over the years, I've hopefully shown him that he has nothing to worry about, because I'm honestly not interested in her.  We just happen to share a little bit of a past and get along well enough, but he keeps me at an arm's length just the same, which I can understand and don't mind anyway.

Which again is why this request was so uncharacteristic of him.  Naturally, I had to ask why he wanted money, but he was very evasive with his reponse.  From what I could piece together, some inventory has gone missing at his work, and his bosses suspect him of being the thief, so they fired him.  So now, he's stressing out from being out of a job.

While I don't actually suspect him of being the thief, I also don't know why he can't just come out and say, "Yeah this is exactly what happened, but I swear I'm innocent.  I did not steal anything."  The very elusive way he tried to word things really made me feel uncomfortable.

Besides, regardless of whether he is innocent or not, it's not like I can pay his bills every month until he finds another job.   Even if I had said yes this one time, and established some kind of money transfer method, I think it'll be that much harder to say no to him in the future.  So, I thought it would be best that I just say no from the get-go.

I felt genuinely terrible telling him no though, but he said that it was really OK, and apologized for asking in the first place.  I just hope he finds another job soon.

3 Responses to “Solicitations”

  1. Single Guy Says:
    1777060733

    Maybe do a search online for job employment sources for him? If he has a job that uses resumes, do an AI request for ideas on sprucing up his resume. Things like that.

    I did that for someone last year and he said how much he appreciated it. That said, I don't think he got a new job as he thinks he's great in cyber security - but I really doubt it as I know alot in that area and I'm not that overwhelmed to be honest.

  2. mumof2 Says:
    1777077256

    you could have offered to help him find a job, or help him with his budget but his GF works with you so maybe have a chat with her and she could help him...my oldest helped someone at the store the other day someone asked if she could buy them some groceries..she said she could buy them a few things..it ended up costing her $140..I said why didnt you tell her no just a few things..she said I said I would help and I could afford it..I will never go hungry in your house..she looked like she needed it...she has a big heart and helps the homeless a lot...but i said next time tell them they can have a few things and thats it..she agreed...she was also exhausted from full day at work and all her ivf appointments so just wanted to get home and rest...but many take advantage if they can

  3. Tabs Says:
    1777099627

    Single Guy: Not a bad idea. I am not opposed to helping him out in other ways. He has always been fairly cordial and polite towards me over the years, despite his insecurity about me being around his GF.

    Mumof2: The GF is indeed working full-time, and no doubt will step in to help his BF out with some money somehow. I didn’t ask. I really don’t want to get involved at all by asking. What I do know is the GF is a single mom, raising two kids, an elderly mom at home, and has a sick brother in the hospital. Sadly, they all financially depend on her, and the BF knows that. In fact, chances are good the BF had been financially helping her the whole time, and was not expecting the tables to get turned around. That’s most likely why he turned to asking me for money instead, because he’s trying to alleviate her financial strain, not add to it.

    Which then begs a rather peculiar question: If I had given him money, and he gave at least some of that money to the GF, would he actually come out and tell her he got the money from me? Knowing him, there is a possibility that he would not, because he really wants her to keep thinking that she can count on him for financial support. However, if she found out that the money he gave her came from me, especially if he was being elusive about it, then she might not be happy with him, all the while add more positive light on me somehow. It would not be the first time he has done something like this.

    There’s another angle to consider, which would explain why he would do something like this in the first place…. How do I put this though? The GF has secretly confided in me before that she likes me, and if given the chance, she would rather date me than his BF. There are some things about him that rubs her the wrong way, especially with his issues of insecurity and all that. My personal take is that, even when you are just going steady with someone, you should remain faithful. It’s still a commitment, you know? Even without the moral qualm, I can unequivocally say that there is not a single perfect man out there, including me. Nor am I certain that we’re compatible Like That.

    For all his insecurities, the BF isn’t actually a bad guy. Plus, I think he can sense the GF’s latent interest in me? If so, then his concerns are not entirely unwarranted. So, other than him asking for money and the occasional hellos and how are you’s, I just have not been talking to either one of them at all for literally months. Just downgraded us all down to acquaintance level really. I am not trying to mess up their relationship, and I don’t want any drama in my life.

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