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My life in review

June 28th, 2026 at 05:59 pm

Because I'm still too young (haha) for receiving Social Security, I just haven't really looked into it in detail.  However, just for fun, I decided to go check out SSA's website and see what my eligibility looks like.

While at the website, I noticed there was a tiny little text link that revealed my entire life's annual income!  Wow, I didn't know that was available.  Why is the link so small?  That's a big deal to me!

Looking back at my life, in terms of annual income, really brought back a wave of memories, and even gave me an insight about what kind of person I am....  For one thing, I never did earn a whole lot of money.  Although insurance and retirement benefits are generally pretty good for law enforcement, it really is not a profession of choice for those seeking a high income.

Another thing is how seemingly unhappy and restless I appear to have been.  It brought me back memories of how I jumped from city cop to the Sheriff's office to working for the Feds, and all the while remembering how I was always constantly searching... for what though?  Where I really belonged, where I wanted to be, what I really wanted to do when I grow up?   I don't know exactly what it is I was looking for, only I never really found it.  That's why I kept jumping around, kept trying to climb that career ladder.

Contrast that with my fellow "idiot camping buddy" for example, who just stayed where he is, and ended up being a fairly happy police lieutenant.  To be clear, I am also very happy for him.

But me?  Yeah, I just eventually got up and retired.  Otherwise, I feel like I would just be struggling through my fourth police academy, at an advanced age, just to start all over again at the bottom of the rung that, if history should most likely repeat itself, would leave me disillusioned somehow again.

If I am being entirely honest, I don't know what is wrong with me.  Why can't I be like my friends and just stay still at a job?  Why was I so unhappy and restless?  What is it exactly that I am looking for?  A man's career is kind of a big deal for us, but somehow I can't help but feel all I've done is make a mess throughout my life.  Sigh.

I would say about the one big thing I've done right with my life is that I learned to save and invest money.  It gives me some peace of mind while I moved chaotically from one job to another, and is even allowing me to retire early, which is somehow making me happier than I've ever been.  I still don't know what it is I am looking for, if anything, but life could be much worse and I am happy that it is not.

7 Responses to “My life in review”

  1. patientsaver Says:
    1782674225

    I think you are probably being unduly hard on yourself. From the sound of it, you had a successful career in law enforcement, even if you felt "restless" and felt like you were searching for something better.

    I also never made a ton of money, and I think that's because I should have been more confident in my expertise and assertive about earning more. With the exception of one year I received stock options, my salary was pretty middle-class. I also job-hopped quite a bit, initially, by choice, in search of higher income, and later, by necessity, because more and more jobs in my field were becoming "contract" jobs of short duration.

    In my own case, I really liked the work. It was nearly always interesting and challenging, and sometimes highly creative. I greatly disliked the "bureaucracy" of the typical office environment, long commutes and difficult personalities, and I often felt confined in the office. For decades, I used my lunch hour/half-hour to walk, just to clear my head and de-stress. Early retirement was always a dream. Though I didn't actually retire for good until age 65, the last 6 years of my work were part-time, by choice.

    I will definitely have to take a peek at the lifetime income button.

  2. Lots of Ideas Says:
    1782674361

    There are different ways to view the same set of facts.
    Maybe you looked for new opportunities because you were looking for new challenges. Maybe your career mattered more to you than someone who was working for the paycheck and found their challenges elsewhere - or was content never being challenged.

    My professional career was split between two large companies. I might have never left the first one had I not been laid off in a series of downsizing. Even with that, I used job posting to seek new challenges in a company where people mostly stayed in a comfortable job, and I volunteered to take on work I barely understood and figured it out. I needed to be challenged and to feel like my work mattered. But I could ask ‘why was I never satisfied?’ I see my ‘wandering’ as a positive trait. I bet you know a lot more than someone who ‘bloomed where they were planted.’

    I think most of us learn as we age that we never figured out how to be adults - which gives us grace about the ‘adults’ who let us down because we realize they were doing the best they could too.


  3. Tabs Says:
    1782677816

    patient: Ooh now that’s something I can related to as well. I was never the 9 to 5 office type either. Sadly, law enforcement has a surprising amount of paperwork involved. Oh, and don’t get me started on the office politics and beaucracy. Anyway, thank you for your kind words.

    LOI: Haha you are definitely right about that. Part of my restlessness was simply career ambition. When I was younger, I was always itching to go higher and do more. Adding fuel to the fire, once I figure how to do something, I tended to get bored easily, and LE isn’t exactly rocket science…. I think that did add to the job dissatisfaction somewhat.

    Your last line is most insightful. Hopefully, I’m not the only one who has never quite figured it all out… though I’m still working on it haha.

  4. Single Guy Says:
    1782678779

    Most people job hop to some extent, this is hardly something to be ashamed of. Switching jobs when your younger can be a good thing - shows you are expecting more in your jobs and probably life. Plus, you learn about yourself as you move from location to location. I switched continents twice in 3 years, and severe job changes too, and it helped to mature me. Once I had my job with decent work and a good exit ramp (pension), it was time to buckle down and stay until the end.

    As for your earnings history, you should take that data, find the inflation factors the SSA uses, and come up with your inflation adjusted "balance" that would be used for benefits if you never worked again. Then take that number and use it to come up with your estimated payment at Full Retirement Age (FRA). The methodology includes two bend points. Once you're past the second bend point, there isn't much point in working any more - at least as far as Social Security is concerned. I knew I was already past the second bend point when I was eligible for a non-reduced pension, so I knew retiring was only going to be minor financial hit - so it was time to go.

  5. Dido Says:
    1782688195

    Social comparison is the thief of joy. It's always dangerous to compare yourself to others. Things may seem greener on the other side of the fence, but we only see what others allow us to see.

    Life is an ever-changing process; that said, it helps to have a sense of purpose. I think many of us are working on ourselves throughout our lives--though some clearly have given up and choose not to ask these kinds of questions of themselves. I think that asking the question is healthy. And sometimes a job is just a job and not a life purpose. In fact, I think for most people, it's that way.

    And yes, the lifetime income is helpful. The inflation factors that SS uses are actually tied to whatever year you turn 60, and I think you are not there yet. For every year up to 60, they inflation-adjust your income. For years after 60 if you are still working, they don't inflation-adjust it. It's your top 35 years of inflation-adjusted earnings that are used to calculate your expected payment. If you worked for less than 35 years, then they add in zeros for the missing years. If you worked for more than 35 years, you get to start dropping off the low income years. I think if I work another two years, I'll get to drop off all the years where my inflation-adjusted income was less than $35,000 or so. I actually ran the calculation a month or so ago.

    It's also kind of eye-opening to just add up all the lifetime income that you earned--especially when you compare it to your current net worth.

  6. Tabs Says:
    1782703642

    Dido: Yeah, I don't believe in comparing myself with others either. Have I done so here? I sure hope not much. There are things about his life that I do not want to be a part of, and I don't have his issues due to me making different choices anyway. Looking back, I think the only thing that makes me not regret too much about my life is that I really did make the best decision I could at the time.

    Thank you though, and it's also good to know that SS is inflation-adjusted until 60, which is very interesting. I did not know that.

    And yes, it's quite surprising what my net worth is relative to my income. I would have never guessed that things would work out as well as it has so far. Fingers crossed it'll keep going that way haha.

  7. Tabs Says:
    1782703926

    Single Guy: Sounds like you've navigated your career well, and I commend you for that.

    But yes, ultimately, I think you nailed it on the head: When it comes down to it, I was trying to figure out what my sense of purpose is. Naturally, I also needed be able to pay the bills, but yeah... I was the happiest when I got into the mix of things and got to help along somehow. Well, when I was younger anyway. I'm willing to let it all go now.

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