I can't remember if I've mentioned this already or not, but I am painfully aware that I am still in what is arguably the most dangerous financial phase of my life. Yes, early retirement sounds so rosy and great, until you actually do it, and the cost really starts to bite in. Until I am "of age" and am eligible for SS, retirement accounts, and medicare/medicaid for example, I am basically floating by using nothing but my own money, one month at a time.
The good news is my monthly budget is holding so far. On good months, I even have a bit of extra left over. While I admit that it is not easy, for the most part, it's also not too hard since I only have one of me to take care of.
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On another note, I guess the camping buddy of mine had a nice enough time that he has invited me do another trip, possibly next year. This time, he wants to do kayak fishing. I said yes. Why not? 99% of the other times, I'm mostly a homebody, hardly ever going out except to the grocery store, and the occasional gas station. Plus, me staying in touch with friends is something that I rarely ever do, and I'm thinking maybe that's not a good thing. These are good people, and I should try to stay in touch with them whenever the annual opportunity presents itself.
The only catch, of course, is I have neither a kayak nor any fishing gear. Luckily, this buddy has a second kayak that I can borrow. That and perhaps some fishing gear as well. So, this trip should also be affordable enough for me to go.
I'll still have to learn to kayak and fish, and if we catch any, we'll still have to figure out how we want to cook the fish at a potential camp site or whatever, but I guess figuring all that out along the way is all part of that "outdoor experience"?
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Electricity has doubled compared to just a few years ago. Naturally, I had to double my budget for it as well. As summer ramps up, the electric bill is going to get painfully ugly, but it can't be helped. I already run two fans in my room to try to minimize my AC usage.
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Starting July is when harvest season is suppose to start, especially with the vegetables that I typically enjoy. Yes, I know that farmers store the produce year-round, but towards the end of the cycle (like right now), selections are usually at its worst and most limited. Once the new harvest hits, I notice that quality suddenly picks up and there tends to be more sales on it?
August is typically the month I like visiting the farmers market. Yes, I never thought I'd be That Guy, but I guess I am That Guy now, that enjoys visiting the farmer's market, though only during harvest season, which is roughly from now, all the way to Halloween, to soak up all the autumn harvesty vibes. I really should go check it out soon.
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While I was walking in a mall one day, I saw this shop selling these dioramas. Here's one example of what it looks like:
So, they're suppose to be these things that can be placed on your book shelf. I must be getting old, because I am looking at these things and just marveling how cool they look. Not exactly the dioramas themselves, but just the certain vibe or atmosphere they exude.
When I stop and think about it, I guess there's something missing in my life, where I live in a house, but I've never felt like I lived in a home? For example, my room is lined wall to wall with organizing drawers and desks and so forth. It's very practical and it helps to keep me organized, but uh, I guess there is no warmth to it, save for the summer heat hahaha.
I don't know what to think or how to fix it exactly. It's eluded me for years, and it is likely to continue to elude me for years to come. I'm open to ideas and suggestions, within budget of course. However, I doubt a $45(!) diorama or even flowers in my room will fix whatever it is I feel I am lacking.
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Well that's all I can think of right now. Nothing exciting really, just a guy living his life out there, but without any major regrets or complaints, and staying within the budget while doing so.
July 10th, 2026 at 12:11 pm 1783685504
It's great to have a buddy you can do fun stuff with. I was in fact "ruminating" just the other day about whether it might be time to get rid of my kayak, which has sat in my basement unused for probably 9 years now. But getting rid of it would be like letting go of part of who I am, that outdoorsy, athletic gal who likes to do things like that. So it's staying for now.
I'm curious to know, if you want to share, how much you pay for electricity. Here in southern New England, I can pay anywhere from as low as $55 a month (rare, and only in the shoulder months) to $130 or so. And that's being extremely frugal about using AC and heat. Most households use much more.
I like farmers' markets, though around here they tend to be pricey. There is one vendor who sells a great sourdough bread I like to get.
What you are describing as being missing from your life sounds like you are missing a certain coziness one gets from living in a comfortable home, one that reflects who you are and your history of living there. Some people never quite seem able to "unpack" and settle into a home, living out of boxes for years. I could never do that, because "home" is very important to me after a childhood moving from one place to the next. I have spent a lot of time arranging my home for my own comfort, and I'm fortunate to have a lot of family heirlooms that I can display on shelves, for instance, that keep my family close to me, even if they are no longer here. This never seemed as important when I was still working since my home then was more like a way station I just passed through on my way to and from work.
Some people bring meaning to their physical environs by collecting "souvenirs" from their travels. It doesn't have to cost much money. For years, I collected seashells from the beaches I visited, or even pinecones, stones, birds' nests or hornets' nests. Although now I've decided to return those seashells to the sea, where they belong, and perhaps they could provide shelter to some small creatures. So I have already 'repatriated' some of those shells to the ocean, although I don't get down there too much. I still have a bowl of shells I plan to return.
July 11th, 2026 at 04:44 am 1783745099
My electric bill for the month of June is just a bit over $200. The crazy part is I use it as nominally as I can, without it feeling uncomfortable, because I am also home most of the time now, and can’t get away with using it even less like before.
Ah coziness and items with sentimental value. That makes a lot of sense. It’s true that I’ve been rather transient in the past, and have never quite settled into anywhere. In fact, I just moved here to this house just the beginning of this year. Hard to feel cozy under these conditions. Hmm. Thank you for this lovely insight.
July 11th, 2026 at 02:37 pm 1783780651
I married a widower. I love him dearly. I was friends with his late wife. We've been married two years and I moved into his home where he and his late wife lived. I've been hesitant to change a lot because one of their kids is very negative about our marrying and any change. His wife told the late wife's sisters I was getting rid of everything that belonged to her and all the house decor which caused quite an uproar. What I got rid of was tubs and tubs of decorations that my DH didn't want and had sat in the basement for years, although he offered for the kids to take whatever they wanted out of the tubs. They didn't take anything out of the tubs. DH wanted to finish this room in the basement but didn't know where to start as far as going through all this. I went through it all, threw away the broken stuff, and we donated the rest to local thrift stores. A few months later when the daughter in law stopped by to visit, she was shocked that the house looks much the same as when DH's late wife was living. I struggle with this quite a bit because although it is technically my home, it's not really "mine." But to keep peace, I've left most things the same. We did paint the bedroom and took everything down from the walls. DH decided he liked the more streamlined look and we only put up the quilt rack that was there. There were lots of prints and other stuff on the walls and they are stored in the basement. I did put up some photos of my parents/grandparents in one of those frames that holds 8 photos so I feel like that really is really mine.
This is really starting to be a great time as fresh vegetables and fruits are ripening. Our garden is starting to really produce.
Do you have a yard where you could plant some vegetables? Or does this not interest you?
July 12th, 2026 at 09:28 am 1783848482
Oh, I had no idea you were newly (re-)married. I can understand how that there is a bit of adjustment for everyone, though I do think at a certain point, your in-laws will have to just accept that you live there, and you are allowed to make your house your home as well. Anyway, I hope all this transition will happen sooner rather than later. It is understandable to grieve for the past, but there is no sense in clutch to it for too long.
I do have a yard, but I am in a neighborhood with a stuffy HoA. They will not allow it. However, container gardening off the porch is a good possibility.
July 12th, 2026 at 07:09 pm 1783883398
Thank you for your kindness. I'm trying to keep things tame so there isn't a big blow up. Eventually, things will change. But change is difficult, especially when some of the kids want to find fault. One daughter is wonderful and encourages me to make things my own which is very nice.
Container gardening might just be the ticket for you. HOAs are a mixed blessing from what I understand. We live in the middle of country and that's good with some challenges. Sadly our county is pretty poor so there are a lot of places where you see lots of junk and beat up things. Then other places where things are nicely maintained.